Bad dates are good material.

I was on a blind date with a high school football coach. I asked him what his career goals were and he said “I hope to retire in 10 years.” I’m thinking: that’s impressive on a public high school teacher’s salary. So I say, “That’s great you’ve been saving up to retire early. Good for you!” To which he replied, “Nah, my parents are old and THEY’VE got money. I’m just waiting for them to kick it so I inherit all that cash and don’t have to work anymore.”