Bad dates are good material.

We met at the shoe store where he was a sales clerk. But during our first date, he informed me that actually his true calling was being a sculptor. I asked how he got into it, and he went into this monologue:

“When I was a kid, my class had to do reports, and one girl did hers about fairies. She said that at first she didn’t believe the fairies were real, but then she saw some in her grandmother’s backyard. But the teacher hated her report and said that fairies weren’t real. Her face fell, and in that moment I decided that I would MAKE her believe in fairies again. [At this point tears are welling up in his eyes] So I went home that afternoon, went into my backyard, and found some dead birds. I mean, they were already dead– I didn’t kill them myself or anything. And I took them inside and boiled off the skin, then used the bones to BUILD her a fairy!”

I’m not sure what he said after this, because after the boiling-dead-birds thing my mind was pretty occupied with planning my escape.