Bad dates are good material.

We went to a hockey game, where I had quite a few drinks, and then out to dinner. When we got back to his house, I threw up all over his floor, and then I peed myself. I have never been more mortified, especially because I drink often and I’ve never lost bladder control. So while he kindly cleaned everything up, I swore at him and accused him of drugging me, since that was OBVIOUSLY the only reason I could come up with for embarrassing myself so much.